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  • Enter KENT, disguised

  • If but as well I other accents borrow,
    That can my speech defuse, my good intent
    May carry through itself to that full issue
    For which I razed my likeness. Now, banish'd Kent,
    If thou canst serve where thou dost stand condemn'd,
    So may it come, thy master, whom thou lovest,
    Shall find thee full of labours.

  • Horns within. Enter KING LEAR, Knights, and

  • Let me not stay a jot for dinner; go get it ready.
    Exit an Attendant
    How now! what art thou?

  • What dost thou profess? what wouldst thou with us?

  • I do profess to be no less than I seem; to serve
    him truly that will put me in trust: to love him
    that is honest; to converse with him that is wise,
    and says little; to fear judgment; to fight when I
    cannot choose; and to eat no fish.

  • A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as the king.

  • If thou be as poor for a subject as he is for a
    king, thou art poor enough. What wouldst thou?

  • Who wouldst thou serve?

  • Dost thou know me, fellow?

  • No, sir; but you have that in your countenance
    which I would fain call master.

  • What services canst thou do?

  • I can keep honest counsel, ride, run, mar a curious
    tale in telling it, and deliver a plain message
    bluntly: that which ordinary men are fit for, I am
    qualified in; and the best of me is diligence.

  • How old art thou?

  • Not so young, sir, to love a woman for singing, nor
    so old to dote on her for any thing: I have years
    on my back forty eight.

  • Follow me; thou shalt serve me: if I like thee no
    worse after dinner, I will not part from thee yet.
    Dinner, ho, dinner! Where's my knave? my fool?
    Go you, and call my fool hither.
    Exit an Attendant
    Enter OSWALD
    You, you, sirrah, where's my daughter?

  • So please you,--

  • What says the fellow there? Call the clotpoll back.
    Exit a Knight
    Where's my fool, ho? I think the world's asleep.
    Re-enter Knight
    How now! where's that mongrel?

  • He says, my lord, your daughter is not well.

  • Why came not the slave back to me when I called him.

  • Sir, he answered me in the roundest manner, he would

  • My lord, I know not what the matter is; but, to my
    judgment, your highness is not entertained with that
    ceremonious affection as you were wont; there's a
    great abatement of kindness appears as well in the
    general dependants as in the duke himself also and
    your daughter.

  • Ha! sayest thou so?

  • I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, if I be mistaken;
    for my duty cannot be silent when I think your
    highness wronged.

  • Thou but rememberest me of mine own conception: I
    have perceived a most faint neglect of late; which I
    have rather blamed as mine own jealous curiosity
    than as a very pretence and purpose of unkindness:
    I will look further into't. But where's my fool? I
    have not seen him this two days.

  • Since my young lady's going into France, sir, the
    fool hath much pined away.

  • No more of that; I have noted it well. Go you, and
    tell my daughter I would speak with her.
    Exit an Attendant
    Go you, call hither my fool.
    Exit an Attendant
    Re-enter OSWALD
    O, you sir, you, come you hither, sir: who am I,

  • My lady's father.

  • 'My lady's father'! my lord's knave: your
    whoreson dog! you slave! you cur!

  • I am none of these, my lord; I beseech your pardon.

  • Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal?

  • Striking him

  • I'll not be struck, my lord.

  • Nor tripped neither, you base football player.

  • Tripping up his heels

  • I thank thee, fellow; thou servest me, and I'll
    love thee.

  • Come, sir, arise, away! I'll teach you differences:
    away, away! if you will measure your lubber's
    length again, tarry: but away! go to; have you
    wisdom? so.

  • Pushes OSWALD out

  • Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee: there's
    earnest of thy service.

  • Giving KENT money

  • Enter Fool

  • Let me hire him too: here's my coxcomb.

  • Offering KENT his cap

  • How now, my pretty knave! how dost thou?

  • Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.

  • Why, for taking one's part that's out of favour:
    nay, an thou canst not smile as the wind sits,
    thou'lt catch cold shortly: there, take my coxcomb:
    why, this fellow has banished two on's daughters,
    and did the third a blessing against his will; if
    thou follow him, thou must needs wear my coxcomb.
    How now, nuncle! Would I had two coxcombs and two daughters!

  • If I gave them all my living, I'ld keep my coxcombs
    myself. There's mine; beg another of thy daughters.

  • Take heed, sirrah; the whip.

  • Truth's a dog must to kennel; he must be whipped
    out, when Lady the brach may stand by the fire and stink.

  • A pestilent gall to me!

  • Sirrah, I'll teach thee a speech.

  • Mark it, nuncle:
    Have more than thou showest,
    Speak less than thou knowest,
    Lend less than thou owest,
    Ride more than thou goest,
    Learn more than thou trowest,
    Set less than thou throwest;
    Leave thy drink and thy whore,
    And keep in-a-door,
    And thou shalt have more
    Than two tens to a score.

  • This is nothing, fool.

  • Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer; you
    gave me nothing for't. Can you make no use of
    nothing, nuncle?

  • Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing.

  • To KENT Prithee, tell him, so much the rent of
    his land comes to: he will not believe a fool.

  • Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between a
    bitter fool and a sweet fool?

  • No, lad; teach me.

  • That lord that counsell'd thee
    To give away thy land,
    Come place him here by me,
    Do thou for him stand:
    The sweet and bitter fool
    Will presently appear;
    The one in motley here,
    The other found out there.

  • Dost thou call me fool, boy?

  • All thy other titles thou hast given away; that
    thou wast born with.

  • This is not altogether fool, my lord.

  • No, faith, lords and great men will not let me; if
    I had a monopoly out, they would have part on't:
    and ladies too, they will not let me have all fool
    to myself; they'll be snatching. Give me an egg,
    nuncle, and I'll give thee two crowns.

  • What two crowns shall they be?

  • Why, after I have cut the egg i' the middle, and eat
    up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou
    clovest thy crown i' the middle, and gavest away
    both parts, thou borest thy ass on thy back o'er
    the dirt: thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown,
    when thou gavest thy golden one away. If I speak
    like myself in this, let him be whipped that first
    finds it so.
    Fools had ne'er less wit in a year;
    For wise men are grown foppish,
    They know not how their wits to wear,
    Their manners are so apish.

  • When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah?

  • I have used it, nuncle, ever since thou madest thy
    daughters thy mothers: for when thou gavest them
    the rod, and put'st down thine own breeches,
    Then they for sudden joy did weep,
    And I for sorrow sung,
    That such a king should play bo-peep,
    And go the fools among.
    Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach
    thy fool to lie: I would fain learn to lie.

  • An you lie, sirrah, we'll have you whipped.

  • I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are:
    they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
    have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am
    whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
    kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
    thee, nuncle; thou hast pared thy wit o' both sides,
    and left nothing i' the middle: here comes one o'
    the parings.

  • Enter GONERIL

  • How now, daughter! what makes that frontlet on?
    Methinks you are too much of late i' the frown.

  • Thou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no need to
    care for her frowning; now thou art an O without a
    figure: I am better than thou art now; I am a fool,
    thou art nothing.
    Yes, forsooth, I will hold my tongue; so your face
    bids me, though you say nothing. Mum, mum,
    He that keeps nor crust nor crum,
    Weary of all, shall want some.
    Pointing to KING LEAR
    That's a shealed peascod.

  • Not only, sir, this your all-licensed fool,
    But other of your insolent retinue
    Do hourly carp and quarrel; breaking forth
    In rank and not-to-be endured riots. Sir,
    I had thought, by making this well known unto you,
    To have found a safe redress; but now grow fearful,
    By what yourself too late have spoke and done.
    That you protect this course, and put it on
    By your allowance; which if you should, the fault
    Would not 'scape censure, nor the redresses sleep,
    Which, in the tender of a wholesome weal,
    Might in their working do you that offence,
    Which else were shame, that then necessity
    Will call discreet proceeding.

  • For, you trow, nuncle,
    The hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so long,
    That it's had it head bit off by it young.
    So, out went the candle, and we were left darkling.

  • Are you our daughter?

  • Come, sir,
    I would you would make use of that good wisdom,
    Whereof I know you are fraught; and put away
    These dispositions, that of late transform you
    From what you rightly are.

  • May not an ass know when the cart
    draws the horse? Whoop, Jug! I love thee.

  • Doth any here know me? This is not Lear:
    Doth Lear walk thus? speak thus? Where are his eyes?
    Either his notion weakens, his discernings
    Are lethargied--Ha! waking? 'tis not so.
    Who is it that can tell me who I am?

  • Lear's shadow.

  • I would learn that; for, by the
    marks of sovereignty, knowledge, and reason,
    I should be false persuaded I had daughters.

  • Which they will make an obedient father.

  • Your name, fair gentlewoman?

  • This admiration, sir, is much o' the savour
    Of other your new pranks. I do beseech you
    To understand my purposes aright:
    As you are old and reverend, you should be wise.
    Here do you keep a hundred knights and squires;
    Men so disorder'd, so debosh'd and bold,
    That this our court, infected with their manners,
    Shows like a riotous inn: epicurism and lust
    Make it more like a tavern or a brothel
    Than a graced palace. The shame itself doth speak
    For instant remedy: be then desired
    By her, that else will take the thing she begs,
    A little to disquantity your train;
    And the remainder, that shall still depend,
    To be such men as may besort your age,
    And know themselves and you.

  • Darkness and devils!
    Saddle my horses; call my train together:
    Degenerate bastard! I'll not trouble thee.
    Yet have I left a daughter.

  • You strike my people; and your disorder'd rabble
    Make servants of their betters.

  • Enter ALBANY

  • Woe, that too late repents,--
    O, sir, are you come?
    Is it your will? Speak, sir. Prepare my horses.
    Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
    More hideous when thou show'st thee in a child
    Than the sea-monster!

  • Pray, sir, be patient.

  • To GONERIL Detested kite! thou liest.
    My train are men of choice and rarest parts,
    That all particulars of duty know,
    And in the most exact regard support
    The worships of their name. O most small fault,
    How ugly didst thou in Cordelia show!
    That, like an engine, wrench'd my frame of nature
    From the fix'd place; drew from heart all love,
    And added to the gall. O Lear, Lear, Lear!
    Beat at this gate, that let thy folly in,
    Striking his head
    And thy dear judgment out! Go, go, my people.

  • My lord, I am guiltless, as I am ignorant
    Of what hath moved you.

  • It may be so, my lord.
    Hear, nature, hear; dear goddess, hear!
    Suspend thy purpose, if thou didst intend
    To make this creature fruitful!
    Into her womb convey sterility!
    Dry up in her the organs of increase;
    And from her derogate body never spring
    A babe to honour her! If she must teem,
    Create her child of spleen; that it may live,
    And be a thwart disnatured torment to her!
    Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth;
    With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks;
    Turn all her mother's pains and benefits
    To laughter and contempt; that she may feel
    How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
    To have a thankless child! Away, away!

  • Now, gods that we adore, whereof comes this?

  • Never afflict yourself to know the cause;
    But let his disposition have that scope
    That dotage gives it.

  • Re-enter KING LEAR

  • What, fifty of my followers at a clap!
    Within a fortnight!

  • What's the matter, sir?

  • I'll tell thee:
    Life and death! I am ashamed
    That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus;
    That these hot tears, which break from me perforce,
    Should make thee worth them. Blasts and fogs upon thee!
    The untented woundings of a father's curse
    Pierce every sense about thee! Old fond eyes,
    Beweep this cause again, I'll pluck ye out,
    And cast you, with the waters that you lose,
    To temper clay. Yea, it is come to this?
    Let is be so: yet have I left a daughter,
    Who, I am sure, is kind and comfortable:
    When she shall hear this of thee, with her nails
    She'll flay thy wolvish visage. Thou shalt find
    That I'll resume the shape which thou dost think
    I have cast off for ever: thou shalt,
    I warrant thee.

  • Exeunt KING LEAR, KENT, and Attendants

  • Do you mark that, my lord?

  • I cannot be so partial, Goneril,
    To the great love I bear you,--

  • Pray you, content. What, Oswald, ho!
    To the Fool
    You, sir, more knave than fool, after your master.

  • Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry and take the fool
    with thee.
    A fox, when one has caught her,
    And such a daughter,
    Should sure to the slaughter,
    If my cap would buy a halter:
    So the fool follows after.

  • This man hath had good counsel:--a hundred knights!
    'Tis politic and safe to let him keep
    At point a hundred knights: yes, that, on every dream,
    Each buzz, each fancy, each complaint, dislike,
    He may enguard his dotage with their powers,
    And hold our lives in mercy. Oswald, I say!

  • Well, you may fear too far.

  • Safer than trust too far:
    Let me still take away the harms I fear,
    Not fear still to be taken: I know his heart.
    What he hath utter'd I have writ my sister
    If she sustain him and his hundred knights
    When I have show'd the unfitness,--
    Re-enter OSWALD
    How now, Oswald!
    What, have you writ that letter to my sister?

  • Take you some company, and away to horse:
    Inform her full of my particular fear;
    And thereto add such reasons of your own
    As may compact it more. Get you gone;
    And hasten your return.
    Exit OSWALD
    No, no, my lord,
    This milky gentleness and course of yours
    Though I condemn not, yet, under pardon,
    You are much more attask'd for want of wisdom
    Than praised for harmful mildness.

  • How far your eyes may pierce I can not tell:
    Striving to better, oft we mar what's well.

  • Well, well; the event.