Sings
When that I was and a little tiny boy,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
A foolish thing was but a toy,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came to man's estate,
With hey, ho, &c.
'Gainst knaves and thieves men shut ...

Why, 'some are born great, some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrown upon them.' I was
one, sir, in this interlude; one Sir Topas, sir; but
that's all one. 'By the Lord, fool, I am not mad.'
But do you remember? 'Madam, why laugh you at such
a ...

Ay, madam.

So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits is to
read thus: therefore perpend, my princess, and give ear.

No, madam, I do but read madness: an your ladyship
will have it as it ought to be, you must allow Vox.

Look then to be well edified when the fool delivers
the madman.
Reads
'By the Lord, madam,'--

Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the staves's end as
well as a man in his case may do: has here writ a
letter to you; I should have given't you to-day
morning, but as a madman's epistles are no gospels,
so it skills not much when ...

O, he's drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes
were set at eight i' the morning.

Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come
again. I go, sir; but I would not have you to think
that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness:
but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I
will awake it anon.

Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old
saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex,
sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of
Saint Bennet, sir, may put you in mind; one, two, three.

Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once,
and let your flesh and blood obey it.

But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would
you could make it another.

By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be
one of my friends.

Marry, sir, they praise me and make an ass of me;
now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by
my foes, sir I profit in the knowledge of myself,
and by my friends, I am abused: so that,
conclusions to be as kisses, if your ...

No, sir, the worse.

Truly, sir, the better for my foes and the worse
for my friends.

Ay, sir; we are some of her trappings.

Do not desire to see this letter.

Good Master Fabian, grant me another request.

Singing
I am gone, sir,
And anon, sir,
I'll be with you again,
In a trice,
Like to the old Vice,
Your need to sustain;
Who, with dagger of lath,
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries, ah, ha! to the devil:
Like a mad lad,
Pare thy nails ...

Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his
brains. I will fetch you light and paper and ink.

I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you
not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit?

Well-a-day that you were, sir

Alas, sir, be patient. What say you sir? I am
shent for speaking to you.

Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I,
sir? not I, sir. God be wi' you, good Sir Topas.
Merry, amen. I will, sir, I will.

Advise you what you say; the minister is here.
Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore!
endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain
bibble babble.

But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no
better in your wits than a fool.

Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?

Master Malvolio?

'She loves another'--Who calls, ha?

'Alas, why is she so?'

'My lady is unkind, perdy.'

Singing
'Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
Tell me how thy lady does.'

Nay, I am for all waters.

Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness:
thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will
allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock, lest
thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.

What thinkest thou of his opinion?

What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl?

Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness
but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than
the Egyptians in their fog.

Why it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes,
and the clearstores toward the south north are as
lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of
obstruction?

Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most
modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones
that will use the devil himself with courtesy:
sayest thou that house is dark?

Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man!
talkest thou nothing but of ladies?

Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio
the lunatic.

What, ho, I say! peace in this prison!

Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of
Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily
said to a niece of King Gorboduc, 'That that is is;'
so I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson; for,
what is 'that' but 'that,' and 'is' but 'is'?

Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself
in't; and I would I were the first that ever
dissembled in such a gown. I am not tall enough to
become the function well, nor lean enough to be
thought a good student; but to be said ...

This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be
in some of your coats for two pence.

By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men
that give fools money get themselves a good
report--after fourteen years' purchase.

Vent my folly! he has heard that word of some
great man and now applies it to a fool. Vent my
folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world,
will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy
strangeness and tell me what I shall vent to my
lady ...

Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not know you; nor
I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come
speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario;
nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so is so.

Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?